before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
