Christians are straight up FREAKS
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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