Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
