Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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