I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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