A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
