I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My cat gives me a boner
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Randomize
