I think my vagina is haunted
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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