the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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