onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
