Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
