He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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