she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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