At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you win again, gameday.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
