I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
