That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
