why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
false alarm, still single
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
