she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
