wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
