All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
