Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize