She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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