Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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