Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
