so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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