The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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