Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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