Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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