last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
