im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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