Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize