why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
