Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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