all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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