I must be too annoying 4 u.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
