11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
