She's JV to your varsity
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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