Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
