Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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