ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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