My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
