There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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