If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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