I saw his package. It spoke to me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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