So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I understand Curling. That high.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
