Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
