Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think my moral compass just broke
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