In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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