Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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