So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
