i will never coherently bang her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
