Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
