How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
