So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
