im drinking this country out of the recession.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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