You're completely useless in the revolution.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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