It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize