if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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