Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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