so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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