thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
