You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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