i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
