I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
