On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
