ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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