I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
