i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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