He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
