I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
