did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
