I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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