I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
