I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize