3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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