the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
