She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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