so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
